Filed under: suspic's speeches
Tip about the Egyptian security guards at KU :
Scream at them and fail to comply with the rules since parking at KU is a pain in the ass. I especially like the screaming variations of “ان حطيته محد راح يشيله غيرك” about the “No parking” sticker. It works like a charm. I tried being nice once, and he put a sticker. He removed it later on, but still he put it.
Tip about traffic policeman :
The other day my friend threw a can out of my car without noticing the police car behind me. We were pulled over, after a smile from me, my friend acknowledging his mistake and asking him if he was “Aflani” in a specific area suggesting we knew his family and are neighbours. We were free to go.
After getting in my car someone called and I answered while I drove off which was stupid but all I got was a joke through the police car’s speakers.
Tip about Filipino waitresses :
Don’t smile or show that you’re over 18.
Tip about waiters : (Exception of previous tip)
Smiling, asking them for their name and how they’re doing goes a long way.
Tip about gulf road :
Don’t make eye contact with guys in their cars with their sisters.
I went to Marina to get some cinnabon, and on the way back my friend and I were talking and suddenly a guy was staring at my friend dead in the eye. Things escalated quickly after we realized he thought my friend was staring at his sisters who were wearing a niqab who weren’t even visible from the darkness.
To make a long story short, he cussed about kicking our asses while we laughed and told him to pull over and all he had to say was “Follow me and I’ll show you!”. We followed him from Marina to Fridays and he still kept saying “Follow me!”, we left since my cinnabon got cold.
Tip about Loyac :
Don’t try to joke with one of the workers unless you’re one of them. They’re elitist assholes but I want a job so “اذا حاجتك عند جلب سمه حجي جلبان”.
Tip about cracking jokes about local demographics :
Don’t. Unless you’re very sure about your friend’s family history.
Any tips for me?
End of transmission.
