Filed under: suspic's speeches
Today, I was tested. My car was taken, and I had to drive Old & Busty. My first ride back in the illegal underage days. It’s safe to say ex-cars hold quite the grudge when you dump their asses and come back for one last bootie call.
I had to ride Old & Busty at exactly noon, noon when everything alive feels a taste of hell. After stepping into the car, I tasted a bit of that myself. To be exact, my ass and hands felt it..hard. The steering wheel felt like lava, and the seat was rough on my ass burning it branding me like its bitch..on both cheeks.
My constant cussing and screaming “HOT! HOT! FUCKING HOT!” sounded like Eddie Murphy’s hot tub skit. The only difference is I’d look much hotter in that robe.
Everything was fine and dandy, until I tried to merge into a certain ring road from the right and move to the left lane all in one try, that usually requires a decentpush on the gas pedal into the guts of the engine and waiting for the car to take you to the promise lane! Only I had one more advantage!
Oh hell yeah! The orgasmic sport button! I pushed it, screamed “Just like old times~! Yeah baby~!” and floored it with the RPM gauge going mad! That’s when I learned that cars held a grudge.
Old and busty gave me nothing but a blow to my road manhood, I got on the left lane with a firing bullet of a car coming up close behind me so I had to swerve to the middle lane pretty fast because Old & Busty didn’t feel like giving me what I wanted one last time. I wasn’t the alpha male on the road.
Lesson of the day, V-Kool is divine and bootie calls never end well.
End of transmission.
